


faulty

by connordoeswriting



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Crying, Denial of Feelings, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Loneliness, Minor Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:47:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27726377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/connordoeswriting/pseuds/connordoeswriting
Summary: he is alone.
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & Karl Jacobs, Alexis | Quackity & Sapnap, Alexis | Quackity/Jschlatt
Comments: 6
Kudos: 181





	faulty

Alex knew it was Schlatt’s fault. 

Alex knew that the horrible burning of fires under his skin that made him recoil whenever he felt them was anger. It only happened around Schlatt. It was also his fault for making Alex cry for hours upon hours at night, chest aching violently by the time he would be passed out. 

However, there was one thing Alex was grateful for, from Schlatt at least. 

He was grateful for the numbness. He was grateful for the veil he’d been given oh so graciously to block out anything else he felt. The numbness was like a broken radio, unable to transfer anything from its core to the outside realm of it’s machinery. 

Because he knew. He knew if he weren't numb- if he didn't have the stupid fucking veil that locked everything else away he’d be in love. He’d look at Schlatt and feel love. Adoration. Respect. He hated it. He hated schlatt so much- 

So much so that he loved him. 

He loved him so much, he loved the very same man that abused him. That hit him. That hurt him. The man that shoved him aside with no second thoughts.He was head over heels for schlatt. He had fallen into a pit and scabbled at the walls till his hands had been numb. Sharp pangs of glass tore into his heart. 

He was so so stupid. So naive. He felt like Eve, when she was fed lies and bright fantasies. He felt like Eve when the deception circled her head like sharks. He felt like a stupid, naive child. 

He couldn't breathe through the heavy smoke that filled his lungs and burnt his eyes, he wanted out. Alex didn't want to be trapped in this cage like a feral dog. He didn't want to love anymore. He didn't want to feel pain when schlatt was hurt, he didn't want to smile when schlatt smiled. He didn’t want to cry when Schlatt hurt him. 

Alex would look up to the sky, wishing he could be with the stars and planets. Far, far away from any human contact. Far away from Schlatt’s grasp. He just wanted to be happy, happy on his own. 

\--- ---

When Alex watched Schlatt cough, and cough- and grasp at his suit jacket- and die, he never knew what to think. Tears streamed down his face even when the nation exploded, only when the withers came had his tears finally dried.

Without Schlatt alive, he had no veil to hide behind. He had no gate keeping out the horrid set of emotions, so they all came flooding in. He had no one to comfort him late at night. Karl was busy with secretary of creativity or whatever the fuck kind of role he’d been given. 

He had no drunken, tired Schlatt to hold onto. He had no one. He had approximately zero people to hold on. No lifeline, no nothing to comfort himself. It hurt. Everything hurt so- so much. He wanted pity. Attention. He wanted someone to hold onto again. He hated that he craved the simplest of actions, something important back into his life, he wanted love back. 

Alex stared at the sky solemnly, eyes slowly falling to stare at his injured, bloody leg. Maybe he should wrap that up with bandages. He honestly didn’t care, he couldn’t bring himself to move at all. 

Sudden, heavy footsteps smashed against the ground behind him, and Alex turned, eyes wide. The few inches taller than him man, Sapnap, stood behind him.

“ Sapnap? What- why are you here? “ Alex asked, a cold brushstroke of wind whipping past him. 

Sapnap hummed in response, dropping down next to Alex and sitting onto his knees. “ You need to bandage your leg. “ he pointed out, showing Alex a half-roll of bandages. 

Oh. Alex thought for a moment that he was special. But no, Sapnap had been going around helping people clean up injuries. Why did that hurt him so much? He was so selfish. 

“ Well? Move so I can fix you up. “ Sap sound pointedly, glancing at Alex’s fucked up leg. Oh, right. 

“ sorry. “ Alex said shortly, shifting himself towards Sapnap, so the other could wrap his leg. 

Would Sapnap notice his sadness at all? Would he be comforted, loved, appreciated, hugged- anything? It was selfish, but he craved anything. He just wanted someone at his side for a little bit. 

But, Sapnap never did. He never noticed. And in minutes, Sapnap left. It was a horrid self-indulging want to be comforted. The sudden insatiable cravings left him in shock. 

However, he was alone. 

And that's how it would always end up being.

**Author's Note:**

> wa wa duck man beanie bald man lonely and sad waaa waaa  
> suck it up  
> cry more football


End file.
